Short stories

These are just some short stories of things that have happened lately that I wanted to blog about but didn't feel like were long enough or whatever for their own post.

1. The Fair!
The kids and I went to the Tulsa State Fair yesterday. I let them play hooky from school so that we could go on a day that wasn't crazy-packed with people. We tried to go last Saturday but it was so packed, we couldn't find a parking spot! Yesterday was much better.
This was Mac and Jack's first time to go to anything like this. They have been to the Houston Livestock and Rodeo but they were so little, we only did the "inside stuff." This time, they were able to ride the rides and play some of the games and they loved every minute of it. Jack didn't understand why I wasn't riding the rides with them. I tried to explain many times that I just don't like to ride those kind of rides anymore (unless we are at Disney World, of course) but that I was having the most fun watching them ride. He said, "But you didn't have fun..you didn't DO anything!" Maybe when he is a parent he will understand. To them, I wasn't DOing anything but, for me, watching them DO stuff was a blast.
And, yes, we ate. I ate fair food! We went to JC before the fair and I told my consultant that I was going to the fair and that I was going to enjoy some fair food. She said to go on and do it, so I did. I wasn't nearly as "bad" as I thought I would be, actually. I ate a flavorless "jumbo" corn dog because it was right next to the pizza place the kids wanted to eat at. I also finished one of Jack's pizza slices and it was so much better than the corn dog. Later, I saw a stand with turkey legs and turkey burgers and I even found a place inside that sold grilled chicken salads but I was already full from corn dog/pizza. I was pretty much full for the rest of the day but I just wanted to eat more. This was, of course, after the kids and I walked around and did the rides for 2 hours or so. I was there, so I wanted to let myself eat whatever I wanted. I couldn't decide between funnel cake or ice cream. It was pretty hot outside, so I decided on ice cream. I searched and searched for a plain, small ice cream cone. Mackenzie was also searching for a Dippin' Dots stand. While we were looking, we settled for a slice of chocolate-dipped cheesecake and chocolate-dipped s'mores. I ate about half of the cheesecake, which really wasn't that good. Mackenzie didn't like her s'mores so she ate some of my cake, then threw it away because she didn't like it either. We finally found what we were both looking for and were very satisfied with the rainbow Dippin' Dots for Mac and a small cup of plain ice cream for me. While the search was on, Jack finished off a huge cinnamon roll. I sampled this also and it was delish! He said, "Y'all should have just gotten one of these!" He was right.
It was such a great day. The only bummer was that Scott wasn't there to share it with us. That, and the major sunburn I now have on the top part of my chest and all around my neck!

Ok, that story was longer than I thought it would be, so I'll just add one more and call it a day.

2. The Talk
Yes, I mean, THE TALK. We finally had "the talk" with the kids a couple of weeks ago but rest assured knowing we managed to continue the tradition of completely freaking out our kids with this new information. As I have discussed with a few of you before, I knew it was getting to be time to have this discussion. Scott and I talked about it a lot, I bought a book, etc but, let me tell you, nothing you do will actually prepare you for the moment you take your children's innocence away. I'm just sayin'.
I knew it was time when Jack told me he knew what sex was. It was the same thing Mackenzie had told us a few months ago: it's when 2 people get naked, lay down, and kiss. We almost had "the talk" when we heard this from Mackenzie but we decided to wait until Jack was ready, too, so that we could have "the" talk with both of them at the same time. Yes, you read that correctly. We had the sex talk with both of our kids at the same time.
Another thing you might want to consider before you tackle this milestone: practice with your spouse beforehand. I don't mean practice "it." I mean practice talking about it. Pretend you are both talking to your child/children and get a game-plan together. Otherwise, you will start having chest pains, as I did, when you hear your spouse say the following words: "Well, when your mommy and I have sex, she lies down and I get on top of her...." Oh, yeah. Ok, I'll wait for you to stop screaming and laughing. I'm twitching from post-traumatic stress disorder just typing these words. Finished? Ok. Yes, those are the actual words that came out of my husband's mouth in front of our children. I almost died! Afterwards, I told him, "I thought you were going to want to give them a demonstration, the way you were talking! Children are supposed to work up to imagining their parents having sex and then simply believe they were hatched instead! But, not OUR kids! They get the visual right away!"
I have to say, the kids took it well. Jack kept asking "How??" to everything and then he covered his ears and exclaimed, "Too much information! Too much information! I'm gonna have nightmares!" Mackenzie didn't say much, she just make a "disgusted" face and wanted to know more of the biology that goes on to make a baby. I told her we'd discuss that later, this information was enough for now. We made a point, though, to stress that sex is not what it appears to be on TV or the movies. It was made by God for a husband and wife to share, to show affection, and to make babies. I hope they focus on that more than anything else. I can honestly say I have no idea what they are thinking right now because not one of them has come to us wanting more information! I do know that I was still more traumatized than they were!