Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Tooth Fairy

Do any of you mamas out there keep your children's teeth after they've come out?? My mom kept mine when I was a little girl. I remember finding a couple of prescription pill bottles in her dresser drawer that had my teeth in them. I was probably in the 1st or 2nd grade and, naturally, it made me very suspicious of the Tooth Fairy. The next time I lost a tooth, I placed the tooth on a note that I had written the fairy-in-question. It said, "Dear Tooth Fairy, Are you real? If you are, please leave a picture of yourself and sign your real name." I still have this letter in my baby book. I am assuming it was shortly after that that I stopped believing in the Tooth Fairy but I never thought it was weird that my mom had kept my teeth.
Yesterday, I was going through one of my own drawers and found many snack-sized ziploc bags...each with a tiny tooth in it. They were also labled with a name and date because, being a mother of 2, I had to know which tooth belonged to which child. There is even one labled "Jack's tooth, lost at Novrosky's in Sulphur" because that was the tooth that came out of his mouth while he was eating his hamburger. That is a very funny memory but did I HAVE to label and keep the tooth?? I knew the teeth were in there but I'd never really thought about them that much. I have to admit, I was a bit disturbed by it. It reminded me a lot of Jeff Goldblum's remake of the movie "The Fly", when he starts molting, losing his teeth and fingernails, and then keeps them in tiny jars in his bathroom medicine cabinet. Seriously, WHY did I still have them? Am I planning on giving them back to the kids when they leave for college...or get married...or have kids of their own?? "Oh, Mackenzie, that is so great that little Suzy lost her tooth...want one of yours back now?"
At the same time, I can't stand the idea of throwing something of theirs away. For further proof, you should see the collection of expanding file-folders I have for each child that hold almost every piece of paper they have brought home since preschool. After unpacking all of them these past 2 1/2 weeks, I am seriously thinking about chucking them. Not looking through them first, just throwing them out and not looking back. I try to think of it in this way: now that I am 30-something years old, would I want to still have all of my school work? Would I really take an entire day and look through all of my crafts, essays, and tests? The answer is pretty much "no way." Also, when is the appropriate grade to stop collecting these papers? When the kids stop bringing home crafty-things or when they simply stop showing me their work because they are too "old" for that or they've made a grade they don't want me to see?
I think that if I keep pictures and mementos from them that are really, super special it would make it ok to throw out their school work. Plus, I could really use the space in my "sentimental" closet. Yes, I now have a hall closet that is filled to the gills with all kinds of crap, I mean, special mementos from my past and from my children's past that I simply cannot be parted with. I'm a pack rat but I do have my limits and, as long as it fits in the closet, I'm golden.
So, in closing, the school papers are out....but I'm still not sure about the teeth. Maybe I'll ask what the kids think about it. OH! I can't do that! They still believe in the Tooth Fairy, I think! Ok, so I'll wait another year or so and re-evaluate then. Hey, don't judge me! It was only a short time ago that I threw away both of my home pregnancy tests!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Okay, okay, Terri!

I have to admit I am a little surprised that more of you did not jump at the opportunity to ask me a question or request a re-telling of a favorite story. Have no fear, though! It is an open invitation, so respond any time you think of something!
First, to answer Sarah's question about whether or not I named Bella after the Twilight character: The answer is "yes" and "no." When I was a little girl, I watched Looney Tunes cartoons all of the time and there was one, in particular, that featured the dog from the Foghorn Leghorn episodes..at least, I think it is the same dog. Anyway, this dog happens upon a Southern Colonel's plantation and wants to adopted as the colonel's pet. The problem is that the colonel already has a pet and it is a bulldog by the name of Belvedere. Every time the colonel wants to get rid of the stray dog, he calls out, "Oh, Bell-va-deere! Come here, Boy!" And Belvedere would instantly show up and pulvarize the other dog.
As a kid, that cracked me up and I would always say to my friends "Oh, Bell-va-deere!!" to be funny...well, it seemed funny at the time... Anyway, that started my desire to have a bulldog as a pet. It seemed only natural that I should pay homage to that cartoon in some way!
Now, factor in my obsession with the Twilight Saga and it all makes sense, right? I really wanted an old-fashioned name for my bulldog, particularly a very feminine name...because bulldogs, even the females, are not known for being "dainty" and "girlie." And I just love a good oxymoron! No, I'm not talking about my husband! (Love you, Honey!) I should have named her "Alice" because I like that character in Twilight more than "Bella" but I couldn't resist having a "Bella Bulldog." To seal the deal, Scott suggested that we call her "Bella-Dear" because it was very similar to "Belve-dere!" How perfect is that? Don't you just love it?! Unfortunately, now that Bella has spent the last 2 months with my parents, my dad has tried to change her name from Bella Dear to Bella Roux. I actually like it but it is bad enough that he gave the major "runs" by feeding her "Pupperoni" sticks...now he is trying to change her name! Oh well, we'll see if she answers to her "real" name when we see her this weekend.
Oh! Scott also says that "Bella" is the perfect name for our dog because she (the dog) whines just like the character "Bella" does in the Twilight books. HA! HA!
Alright, now for the story that Terri wants me to tell. I don't know why she likes this one so much but she has been waiting so patiently for it, I'll go ahead and tell it.
Without giving away too many details, due to Louisiana confidentiality laws....my mother once knew a lady that would wake up every morning and bake biscuits. Every morning. That doesn't sound strange or slightly humerous, does it? Well, the funny part is that this woman was a, shall we say, plus-sized woman...very plus-sized. Again, not so funny. Believe me, being a plus-sized woman myself, I fail to see the humor in that every day but I digress.... The funny part of the story is that this woman bakes these biscuits every day so that she can put them under her boobs (sorry, but "breasts" just doesn't fit this story) to sop up her sweat!! Can you believe that?!
When I started teaching Kindergarten at PBECC, I told this story. I have no idea why I did it but I did and my co-workers have never let me live it down. To add to it, I also admitted that, if I'm doing housework without a bra on and I start sweating, I shove my tshirt under my boobs to soak up the sweat! I don't know WHY I feel the need to share these things...I said in my last post that I have no shame! Plus, I love to laugh and if I have to do it at my own expense, I will throw myself under the bus every time!
Needless to say, my "friends" at PBECC would often ask me if I had my biscuits on me throughout the school day. I even had one friend (Darla Keller) give me a can of "GRAND!" biscuits as a going-away gift!! Well, I'm not about to turn down free food, so the next morning I put them in the oven, forgot about them, and made "GRAND!" hockey pucks! Oh, well, it is still funny!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Writer's Block Already?

Sorry, it has been almost a week since my last post. I think I was waiting for the "perfect" thing to write about but, although I've had many ideas, I've come to realize it just isn't going to be that easy. So, today I'll just write about what's going on in the Simpson's world and see where it takes me.
We have been in our house just over 2 weeks, now, and we are finally getting settled in. We have two rooms that aren't complete yet but, hopefully, they will be next week. This weekend we will be traveling to Louisiana to pick up a few things: some office furniture, bookcases, Bella - our bulldog, and my mom. I am very excited about this for many reasons (and these are in no particular order, Mom). First, as soon as we can get this new-to-us furniture to our house, the sooner (Boomer Sooner??) our house will be "finished." Second, I am always excited for my mom to come and visit! I can't wait to show her our new house and town and to go exploring Tulsa with her. Lastly, my Bella. What can I say? I've wanted an English bulldog for most of my life and I finally got her for my birthday, this past March. After a few weeks of "buyer's remorse", Bella began to settle into our family quite well. And then we had to move...so, Bella has been at my parents' house for almost 2 months. When she comes back to our new house, there will be all sorts of new rules for her to learn and I will have to get back into the groove of taking care of an "inside" dog. I am excited to have her back but a bit anxious about the rules and the groove-part. I'm sure I will have lots of ideas for posts then!
I guess I am struggling with what to write about because I don't know what YOU want to read about. I mean, I think my life and what I have to say about it, is simply FASCINATING (hahahaha) but you may not. Sooo, while I decide on my next topic, if there is something you want to know about me, take this opportunity to ask me. If there is a particular story you'd like for me to share, tell me and I'll share it. I am an open book and I, pretty much, have no shame. Can't wait to hear from you!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Why is it so hard?

Let me start by saying that I feel bad about having my third blog post be a "gripe" post but it is what it is...I'm just sayin!
Why is it so hard for furniture to be delivered safely, peacefully, and on time? Is it really too much to ask? Well, it must be for my family because, last night, we added yet another "furniture delivery" story to our book! Before I tell last night's story, I'll catch everyone up on the previous stories...don't worry, I gripe quickly because I like to get it over with.
A few years ago, before we moved to Borger, I found THE dinning room table. It was from one of those overpriced but "hip" furniture catalogs that you get in the mail and I wanted it...BAD! So, I coveted and I coveted until finally, after moving to Borger and having some relocation money left over, my hubby said I could order it! You can imagine my excitement as delivery day arrived: years of wanting and waiting for this table had finally paid off! Once it was delivered, our new home would be complete, right? Wrong! So wrong!
My table arrived looking like it had been transported in the back of BillBobJimJoe's pickup truck! This was not a "fancy-schmancy" dining room table; it was supposed to look "unique" and "rustic" but this thing had so many dings, dents, and scratches, it was beyond "rustic." Naturally, I declined this item and was assured they would send a replacement as soon as possible. So, instead of a dining room set to "finish" my home, I was left with 6 chairs and a mirror so huge and heavy I was afraid to dust it let alone hang it.
Weeks...seriously, weeks later...table #2 was delivered and promptly sent back for the same reasons. By the time table #3 arrived, I was done with being nice and patient and I was not settling for anything less than perfection. So, when it arrived, my eyes barely glanced over the few nicks and that one smooth dent that gave the table "character".....I told the delivery guys, "Yep, it looks great, thanks!" I just wanted my darn table! And, now that I have it, I love it, which is good for me because Scott says I can't ever buy another one!
Since I told that story so quickly..HA!..I'll really tell the second one fast, promise!
At the same time I was going through my dining room table drama, I also had to buy a couch for our basement AKA "The Cave". I went to the store, found the sectional I wanted, fell for the sales pitch and lifetime guarantee cleaning program hook, line, and sinker, and set up the delivery date. Remember, I said this was for the basement...as in "you have to carry a sectional couch down STAIRS" to get it to the basement. So, of course, when it was delivered, a couple of pieces made it down safely but a couple did not. In fact, you can go into this house right now and see the brown marks on the basement doorframe from the brown leather rubbing against it. On a side note, when you go to this house and look for the marks, why don't you just go ahead and buy the whole house?? That would be really awesome! Thanks!
So, to finish story #2, the damaged pieces were replaced and delivered by men who knew to take the basement door off the hinges and to also take down the stair rail before bringing the pieces down. Again, it is a great couch and I still have 3 big buckets of cleaning products for it but I just don't understand why it has to be such a hassle!
Fast forward 3 years. We are in Bartlesville and in need of an entertainment center. Not just any ol' center but, what "they" call a WALL UNIT...meaning, it takes up the whole wall! We searched and searched and finally found one in Tulsa last weekend. We actually got it for a really good deal because we chose to take the one from the showroom floor "as is." "As is", in this case, was actually very good. There were only a couple of little scratches that the sales guy promised to have taken care of before it was delivered. Don't even get me started on that guy...
The center was originally scheduled to be delivered between 2:30-4:30 yesterday. Then it moved to 4:30-6:30; then 7:30. They finally showed up close to 8 PM and they still had 3 more deliveries to make! These guys showed up ready to unload this massive piece of furniture and hit the road but first, they had to put the pieces together...with tools that they didn't have....and they needed a flashlight.... Thankfully, my hubby is pretty handy and had a flathead screwdriver and flashlight within reach! The guys spent most of their time trying to get the center piece and right side piece to match up so that they could screw the pieces together. They claimed it was difficult because we have tile floors that are not perfectly smooth. Anyway, by the time they left at 8:30, we had our center put together but it still had a couple of scratches, some missing screws, and the delivery guys broke a lightbulb in the center that sent pieces of glass all over our new rug. Worst of all is that I also had a very unhappy husband who has vowed to never buy from this company again. But, once again, it is a beautiful piece of furniture that I am sure we will love once we get it set up completely. Oh, and just to add salt to the wound, our stereo receiver and speaker do not fit in our new wall unit, so we now get to purchase a new home stereo system! Thankfully, we can drive it home ourselves!
Sorry, this was so long. I know I promised it would be quick but those of you who know me, know that the only "quick" thing about me is my wit...not my storytelling.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Southern Lady

I love being from the south. I didn't always feel that way, though. I can remember telling my mom that when I grew up, I was going to move away, change my name, and lie about where I was from because I hated the horrible stereotypes that were associated with Louisiana and the south. I was around 9 or 10 years old.
I didn't start truly appreciating Louisiana and all things southern until I moved to Houston 11 years ago. I realized that Louisiana is very special and there is no place on earth like it. Now that I have lived in the Texas panhandle for 3 years and moved to NE Oklahoma just over a week ago, I miss La. even more. Don't misunderstand. Texas and Oklahoma ARE southern states (Tx more than Ok for sure...I'm just sayin') but they just aren't quite southern enough. I am beginning to realize just how much I am going to stick out when I finally start socializing in my new town just by the things I say. Up here in my part of Ok, locals don't say "y'all" and they call carbonated beverages, Heaven help me, "Pop!" Any true southerner knows that all carbonated beverages are called "Coke" whether you want a Coke, Dr. Pepper, or Sprite. Pepsi is never an option because it isn't southern... Tonight at dinner, another southern/Louisianian saying popped out of my mouth...one that I have never thought about before until my dear, sweet husband, Scott, brought it to my attention.
I was telling him that we need to get one of those clear, ugly, mat-things that go in front of the desk in our office so that our chairs will roll properly. I then said, "I almost tumped out of my chair the other day trying to get it to move." He said, "Tumped??" I immediately knew I had said something wrong and, for the first time, I realized that "tumped" is not a word...not even close! I kept saying it out loud, trying to make sense of it. Scott then said, "You know you can't say things like that here in Oklahoma. They won't know what you are talking about!" I replied, "I guess it is like the word "fixin', huh? It makes no sense when you think about it but we grew up talking like that!"
Don't worry, though, I am not planning on changing the way I speak any time soon. I may have to tone it down a bit depending on the social situation I am in but I must remain true to my southern roots even if I sound like a dumb hick!
That little discussion at tonight's dinner made me feel extra southern, so I baked a butter pecan cake, made some coffee at 8:00 PM (because my grandparents drank coffee at night, too), and read the latest issue of Southern Living. Now, it is time for bed because tomorrow, my friends, is another day! Night, Y'all!

My first blog!

Wow! Here it is: my very own blog! You would think, as much as I love technology and all of the wonderful gadgets it has brought to my life, I would have started a blog years ago! But, here I am, finally sitting down to type some of the many thoughts that float around my head and to share some of the crazy-funny things that happen in my life.
About the title of my blog: I was trying to think of a cute and clever title and asking my husband, Scott, for help. I was going to use "It's All Good" because that is, what I like to call, the Simpson Family Motto but I just wasn't sure. So, I said to Scott, "I'm thinking of naming my blog It's All Good..because, y'know, we say that all of the time...I'm just sayin.." And then it dawned on me: I say "I'm just sayin" all of the time, too! And because a blog seems is for people to type what they say or what they want to say, it seemed like the perfect fit! Although, maybe I should've named it "I'm just typin'"
Anyway, what I am trying to say is, this is me and my blog. I hope you read it, like it, and have a little giggle at my expense. I hope I don't offend anyone but I make no promises. Sometimes I speak (type) before I think. But, always remember: I'm not sayin' anything; I'm just sayin!
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