Jack's Tribute

Today is Jack's 10th birthday.  This, of course, means he gets a post dedicated to him, just like I did for Mackenzie a couple of months ago.  So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the sweet goofiness that is my son!

1. Some of you may have heard of the blog and/or TV show called "S#@t My Dad Says."  Well, I should have started a blog called "Stuff Jack Says" because, over the years, he has said some of the funniest, craziest, and sweetest things I've ever heard.  If you're a Facebook friend of mine, you have more than likely read some his comments and observations and laughed along with me.  I"ll try to remember some as I type this tribute.

2. Jack used to say that he didn't want to grow up and leave me and that, when he gets married, he'll live next door to me.  Now, he says he wants to stay a bachelor so that he doesn't have to have S-E-X.  I can't wait to remind him of his words.

3. When Jack was born, he went through the birth canal so quickly and hit the vaginal wall so hard that he was born with 2 black eyes.  I know now that this incident set him up for a life-time of being accident prone in some of the most cringe-worthy and smack-your-head ways.  For example:

4. When Jack was 9 months old, he fell down the stairs in our house, from the very top to the tile floor on the bottom.  It truly was one of the worst days of my life.  He had a huge knot of his forehead and bruises on his head and face.  Exactly one year later, he did it AGAIN!  That time, he barely had time to bounce before I grabbed him off the floor.

5. When he was in preschool, he got his knee stuck between 2 wooden slats on the playground equipment.  It looked like his knee was out of socket but, after rushing to get X-rays, we learned that everything was fine.

6. He lost a tooth at a restaurant while biting into a hamburger and almost lost it forever when it fell on the floor under the table.

7. He swallowed a tooth once while he was sleeping.  A few days later, the Tooth Fairy left him $1 and a note, asking him to be more careful because she did not enjoy retrieving that particular tooth.  The note and dollar were found on the back of the toilet, BTW.  :-)

8. If you look back through my posts, you'll find one about our trip to Washington, D.C. last summer.  It was during this trip that Jack fell off the Lincoln Memorial porch and then vomited in the White House front lawn.  Yes, this really happened and it is a story that we will tell for the rest of our lives.

9. Jack doesn't ever want me to diet or exercise because he likes me "fluffy."  I let him live after saying that because he is my son.  And I love him.  And it's kind of cute.  And I use it as a reason not to diet and exercise.

10. Jack was born with a tongue-tie (like his Mama), which caused him to have low muscle tone in his mouth (unlike his Mama, who had a lisp).  This, in turn, caused him to have a speech delay.  After many years of speech therapy, I am thrilled to report that the boy NEVER shuts up.  EVER.  Sometimes Scott and I look at each other and ask "Remember when he couldn't talk?"

11. While we were visiting a church here in Oklahoma, he was so "into" his prayer, he fell out of his chair.  Seriously.  His eyes were closed and he simply leaned forward and fell onto the floor.  We almost had to leave early because we were laughing so hard.  And, when I say "we", I really mean "me".  I didn't think I'd ever stop laughing.  It was a million times funnier because we were supposed to be quiet.

12. He loves video games, Super Heroes, and dinosaurs and says he wants to be a paleontologist, as long as he can work in a museum close to his family.  He doesn't want to be gone for very long if he goes on an expedition.  Total sweetheart, I tell ya!

13. The other night he told me that he didn't want to grow.  When I asked him why, he said "because I'm perfect the way I am!"  I couldn't agree more, Jack.

Jack is my darling boy and I am trying not to spoil him too much because I want him to be a good husband to his wife.  I have a feeling I am failing, unfortunately.  He is such a goofy, smart, loving little boy and I can't wait to watch him grow up.  I am also looking forward to having to, literally, look up at him when he is older.

Happy Birthday, Jack!  Here's to an accident-free year!  Hey, I can dream, can't I?