Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Okay, okay, Terri!

I have to admit I am a little surprised that more of you did not jump at the opportunity to ask me a question or request a re-telling of a favorite story. Have no fear, though! It is an open invitation, so respond any time you think of something!
First, to answer Sarah's question about whether or not I named Bella after the Twilight character: The answer is "yes" and "no." When I was a little girl, I watched Looney Tunes cartoons all of the time and there was one, in particular, that featured the dog from the Foghorn Leghorn episodes..at least, I think it is the same dog. Anyway, this dog happens upon a Southern Colonel's plantation and wants to adopted as the colonel's pet. The problem is that the colonel already has a pet and it is a bulldog by the name of Belvedere. Every time the colonel wants to get rid of the stray dog, he calls out, "Oh, Bell-va-deere! Come here, Boy!" And Belvedere would instantly show up and pulvarize the other dog.
As a kid, that cracked me up and I would always say to my friends "Oh, Bell-va-deere!!" to be funny...well, it seemed funny at the time... Anyway, that started my desire to have a bulldog as a pet. It seemed only natural that I should pay homage to that cartoon in some way!
Now, factor in my obsession with the Twilight Saga and it all makes sense, right? I really wanted an old-fashioned name for my bulldog, particularly a very feminine name...because bulldogs, even the females, are not known for being "dainty" and "girlie." And I just love a good oxymoron! No, I'm not talking about my husband! (Love you, Honey!) I should have named her "Alice" because I like that character in Twilight more than "Bella" but I couldn't resist having a "Bella Bulldog." To seal the deal, Scott suggested that we call her "Bella-Dear" because it was very similar to "Belve-dere!" How perfect is that? Don't you just love it?! Unfortunately, now that Bella has spent the last 2 months with my parents, my dad has tried to change her name from Bella Dear to Bella Roux. I actually like it but it is bad enough that he gave the major "runs" by feeding her "Pupperoni" sticks...now he is trying to change her name! Oh well, we'll see if she answers to her "real" name when we see her this weekend.
Oh! Scott also says that "Bella" is the perfect name for our dog because she (the dog) whines just like the character "Bella" does in the Twilight books. HA! HA!
Alright, now for the story that Terri wants me to tell. I don't know why she likes this one so much but she has been waiting so patiently for it, I'll go ahead and tell it.
Without giving away too many details, due to Louisiana confidentiality laws....my mother once knew a lady that would wake up every morning and bake biscuits. Every morning. That doesn't sound strange or slightly humerous, does it? Well, the funny part is that this woman was a, shall we say, plus-sized woman...very plus-sized. Again, not so funny. Believe me, being a plus-sized woman myself, I fail to see the humor in that every day but I digress.... The funny part of the story is that this woman bakes these biscuits every day so that she can put them under her boobs (sorry, but "breasts" just doesn't fit this story) to sop up her sweat!! Can you believe that?!
When I started teaching Kindergarten at PBECC, I told this story. I have no idea why I did it but I did and my co-workers have never let me live it down. To add to it, I also admitted that, if I'm doing housework without a bra on and I start sweating, I shove my tshirt under my boobs to soak up the sweat! I don't know WHY I feel the need to share these things...I said in my last post that I have no shame! Plus, I love to laugh and if I have to do it at my own expense, I will throw myself under the bus every time!
Needless to say, my "friends" at PBECC would often ask me if I had my biscuits on me throughout the school day. I even had one friend (Darla Keller) give me a can of "GRAND!" biscuits as a going-away gift!! Well, I'm not about to turn down free food, so the next morning I put them in the oven, forgot about them, and made "GRAND!" hockey pucks! Oh, well, it is still funny!

2 comments:

  1. Wow, I am speechless after the biscuit story, that is seriously gross. Now I have a mental picture of sweaty biscuits. I think I'm going to pass on lunch, thank you for contributing to my weight loss. :o)

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  2. Oh, I am sorry you cooked your biscuits too long. I will send you some more because I know it has to be hot there. Hey, even though they turned out to be hockey pucks, you could have went ahead and placed them under your boobs. Then you would have had really perky boobs all day long! :) I miss you friend! :(

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